It’s Labor Day Weekend 1997 and Bryan and I wind up spending it in NYC.  On Friday night, August 29, we had planned on getting his tattoo done, but it turns out they close early so we just had a relaxing dinner at Dok Suni, that wonderful Korean restaurant I told you about on First Avenue.

Saturday, August 30, we get up early and do our marketing (for flowers) at the Farmers Market in Union Square (Bryan’s regular Saturday habit).

By noon, we are at Fine Line Tattoo on First Avenue near First Street.  Bryan has designed an arm-band tattoo that is based on the dancing human figures of Keith Haring.  They’re a little less than an inch square which makes around 25 dancers around his arm in five bright colors.  The artist there does an incredible job of translating Bryan’s design into a tattoo on his arm.  The whole process takes a little less than three hours and Bryan grits his teeth admirably during it.

The evening is interrupted with news of an accident in Paris – Princess Diana is in critical condition after a car wreck.  But we really don’t think much of it and we figure it’s just a broken leg.  So we go off to La Casalinga for great homemade pasta.

When we get back and turn on the tv at midnight, we learn of Diana’s death (I guess you might have heard by now).

Sunday, August 31, Bryan and I go to mass at St. Luke in the Fields in the West Village.  As per our plans, we meet up with Ted Smith and his new boyfriend from Terre Haute (David is a museum director there).  The rector, Roger Ferlo+, gave a fine sermon.  After mass, Bryan and I, Ted and David, and Andrew and John went out to brunch, discussing the minutiae of the Episcopal Church and the future of the monarchy.

That evening, Bryan and I got together with Joe Fiore and his boyfriend David Feight to go to a screening of “Kiss Me Guido” directed by Tony Vitale.  Yes, that’s my name, but it’s not me.  Fortunately.  Every cliché known to man was used in this film and while the protagonist was cute, we laughed more at the film than with it.  Afterward, we went to dinner at Eighteenth and Eighth (also the address) where we enjoyed a late night dinner.  And thence to bed.

Monday, September 1, Labor Day itself, we drove to Metuchen NJ to visit with Bryan’s boss Michelle and her husband.

Tuesday, September 2, we had dinner with Andrew and John at Asean in the village, sort of Korean/Thai/Vietnamese as reward for Bryan helping John set up his new computer.  They live right next door to the Stonewall Bar on Christopher Street in a very nice apartment.

Wednesday, September 3, we went bowling with Joe and David.

Thursday, September 4, was my first choir practice of the season.

Friday, September 5, we spent a quiet evening at home with a late dinner at La Spaghetteria [soon to become the infamous Pangea].

Saturday, September 6, after our normal flower shopping in Union Square, we took a nice long walk around NYC, starting at 26th Street and working our way down to the Village, having an early dinner (around 5 pm) at Osteria Fiorentina, a Tuscan restaurant on Bleeker Street across from world-famous John’s Pizza.

On the walk back, I picked up an icon from an artist on the street around NYU.  It’s a painted on metal of St. Stephen.  What makes this one unusual is that he’s naked with a very large appendage, a silver nipple ring and large silver arrows going through him.  He’s also a got a big grin on him.  It’s very much a primitive style art but wild looking.  St. Stephen is the patron saint of the plague (like arrows, it’s quick and deadly) so it’s very appropriate to us.  Then it’s another quiet night at home.

Sunday, September 7, is the first choir date of the season, and we sounded beautiful if I may toot my own horn.  After drinks at Jim Lenney (the organist) and Jamie Pulliam’s, I drove into NYC and Bryan and I took a stroll to the Cloisters Café for dinner and record shopping at Tower (Soft Cell, the Crystal Method, Vaughan Williams, Copland, Holst’s Planets and a Keith Haring tribute cd).  We then came home to watch the season premier of Star Trek Voyager (the Borg return!) and the sci-fi classic Forbidden Planet.

Monday, September 8, it’s the first St. Barnabas meeting of the season which I’ve been attending for the past few years.  Bryan was going to come (we’re doing flower arranging tonight, don’t ask) but he’s participating in a focus group on protease inhibitors for which they’re paying him $200.  The meeting is great, seeing all the old faces.  I arrange flowers and they don’t come out too badly!  I brought them to Bryan and he loved them (or else he lies real well!).  His focus group went well and indeed they give him two crisp new $100 bills.

Tuesday, September 9, we go bowling with Joe and David who will be his team-mates starting next week (it will be the regular Tuesday habit as Bryan is on the team for the next 38 weeks).  Two friends of Joe’s join us but I pretty much play hostess as a night of throwing gutter balls simply doesn’t appeal to me.  But I do enjoy everyone’s company.

Also on Tuesday, I bring a new computer home to Bryan that I got from Midwest Micro, the same people I got my current computer from.  But there are major problems.  It was supposed to have Microsoft NT 4.0 as its operating system but came shipped with Windows 95.  So now we have to jump through hoops to wipe the hard drive and re-install.  Midwest actually wanted us to ship the unit back but that’s really a pain in the neck so we’ll take our chances and do it ourselves.  There were some other discrepancies as well so I spend all of Wednesday morning trying to clear it up.  This hasn’t been a good experience at all.  So how to solve this to everyone’s satisfaction?  I’m taking the new computer down to the shop, the shop computer (which had been my main one in Cranford) back to Cranford and my old Packard Bell I’ve given to my brother.  And for the apartment we’re having a brand new computer built by J&D Associates, the local company that services our computers.  We should have it by Friday, the 19th.  And we start again!

Wednesday, September 10, after we get back from dinner (at Taste of Siam on 2nd Avenue near our apartment, not that great) we get a phone call from Scott “Dangerboy” Reich.  He’s around the corner at Flamingo East with his new girlfriend, Susan Merlucci.  So off we go for drinks!  He’s a nice Long Island Boy (via Boston), 22 years old, and she’s a touch older and from New Jersey.  And what a mouth!  But they’re a lot of fun and she’s certainly not stuck up.  We wind up drinking quite heavily as she bartends there on Thursdays.

Thursday, September 11, it’s choir practice for me.

Friday, September 12, Bryan and I go window shopping in the East Village and buy matching jackets at Rags-A-Gogo (“second hand on the move”).  They’re dark green uniform jackets from Otis Elevator and have the name “Harold” on them.  So now we can torture all our friends by wearing the same clothes!  Oh, no, gay twins!  Harold and Harold!  We hate that (not).

Later that evening we drive to Metuchen, as we are baby-sitting his boss Michelle Petersen’s house.

Saturday, September 13, after breakfast at IHOP, we go shopping at Marshall’s (9 nice shirts for $130), IKEA (cool lighting and more), and Menlo Park mall (a wild clock for my side of the bed and more) with dinner at California Pizza Kitchen which turns out surprisingly good.

TV Guide said that “Robin and 7 Hoods” (with the Rat Pack) was supposed to be on A&E but it’s not so we wind up seeing “The Young Philadelphians” from 1959 with Paul Newman as a rising attorney.  Very odd movie and heavily “dramatic.”

Sunday, September 14, I attend church while Bryan goes garage shopping with Mary Kay, Mario’s wife.  Once a year, Metuchen has a garage sale day when everyone does theirs and Bryan loves garage sales!

I pick him up at 1 pm to go back to NYC where we’re supposed to join a 50th birthday brunch for our friend David Feight (of Joe and David).  But because of delays, we don’t get to the restaurant until 3:30 and they’re already gone!

So then we decide (after eating, of course) to walk over to 7th Avenue where the Boston-NYC AIDS Bicycle Ride is arriving.  A friend of ours should be arriving at the head of the group and we wait where he tells us he’ll be.  Do we see him?  Of course not!  Even though we wait almost an hour.  But I find that it’s extremely emotional watching all these riders coming in.  I’m actually moved to tears.

Then we walk back home (after a drink at Splash), and play happy homemakers (putting together lamps, that sort of thing) and then a late dinner at La Casalinga, our local pasta joint which I’ve told you about.

Monday, September 15, I stay in Cranford late as Joe Morris Doss, the Bishop of New Jersey, is at our church in a meet-and-greet. Although there were only about 15 people there (shocking, one would think) the Bishop claimed to be pleased with the turnout.  Discussion mainly centered on some of the issues of the General Convention held in July in Philadelphia, particularly the failure of the Lutheran Church to ratify the Concordat between our churches.  In addition, he discussed some sleeper issues (like the ability of parishes to use approved texts outside of the current Book of Common Prayer) and some issues that have received mainstream press (like same-sex unions and the ordination of women priests).  The Bishop also vibrantly expounded on his vision of a future church wherein Christ, rather than denominationalism, is the focus.  I found him fascinating and had a chance to push some of my own agenda, telling him that gay Episcopalian couples will be patient for awhile, but eventually will simply find an Episcopal priest to marry them.  We’re not going to MCC or another church, nor will we settle for a “blessing.”  As I already know of at least one priest who has married a gay couple, this isn’t as far-fetched as it sounds.

Tuesday, September 16, I was again late in Cranford as I had dinner with Jim & Jamie and then went to a concert committee meeting at the church.  By the time I got into NYC, Bryan was in his third game at the bowling alley (he’s on a team this year remember).  So afterward, we had a late night dinner at Bandito’s.

Wednesday, September 17, I had a vestry meeting so again was late, but Bryan and I stayed up late catching another portion of “Forbidden Planet.”  At this rate, we’ll finish it in 2015.

Thursday, September 18, another choir practice (which means I have to sleep alone in Cranford).

Friday, September 19, Bryan and I go with his friend Greg to see “Latin Boys Go to Hell.”  Hilarious, only because it was so bad!  This is one of those films that get a single star in TV Guide.  The acting was totally over the top, much like “Plan 9 from Outer Space.”  Obviously, the actors learned their lines on the set!

After the movie we joined my friend Jeff Marshall for dinner at MaryAnn’s in the East Village (mexican and margaritas).  He’s in town to master a new record for Jack McDowell, the Indians pitcher.  As he couldn’t find a room anywhere, he’s staying with us for the weekend (to our great pleasure).

Saturday, September 20, after the three of us eat at The Pancake House, he’s off to mastering and Bryan and I go downtown to the area around the Williamsburg Bridge.  Orchard Street is a shopper’s paradise with tons of leather and clothing stores.  Unfortunately, the fabric stores we wanted to visit were closed (the Saturday Sabbath) but we found all sorts of things anyway.

Plus, we stopped in at the Lower East Side Tenement Museum.  This is an old tenement building that has been preserved to show what life was like for the immigrants around the turn of the century.  Fascinating.

Dinner is at Lanzo’s (Italian) a few blocks from us.

Home to relax and then Bryan and I go to see Karen Finley at P.S. 122.  You may remember her as one of the four artists that Jesse Helms attacked in the NEA funding issue a few years ago; she’s an incredible performance artist.  This is in preparation for her new tour and she covered an amazing amount of territory including Winnie-the-Pooh.  Not surprisingly, many of the issues dealt with women’s issues.  By the time we got back from the show, Jeff was home from mastering so we went out again for food!

Sunday, September 21, Jeff leaves in the morning, so unfortunately I don’t see him as I took off early for church in Cranford.  When I get back into town around 1 pm, Bryan and I go to Crix Brunch III at Woodies.  You may recall that I met Bryan at the first one.  This one has the lowest attendance.  It may be the continued health of people is making these groups less relevant.

Here is Joe Fiore’s comments on the brunch:

Greetings,

The third NYC Crix Brunch went smoothly this Sunday, September 21st at Woody’s in Greenwich Village.  It was attended by me, Joe F., and Bob, tony, bryan, Orison, Dave (my boyfriend who also happens to be a former crix-er), and bajababe (aka Lauren).  Compared to the previous two crix brunches it was a subdued affair, not like the raucous kettel-soaked second brunch, or the electric newness of the first brunch.  There was NO talk of watch alarms or water filters or dessicants...though there was great talk of crix belly (hell, crix body!) and liposuction (yes, indeed...) and the fact that, at one point, we all thought we didn’t have long to live, and that voila! here we still are, alive and thriving!  There was talk of drug holidays and boyfriends (both new and old) and vitamin c drips and l.a. and bowling...  Another crix brunch!  I think the next brunch will probably be in December/January (that will be the year anniversary and bryan and tony’s year mark, since they met at last year’s first crix brunch!).  Also, it is true that the excitement and drama of the first crix brunch, just like the initial crix list postings, is OVER, but still, all in all, a good time was had by all.  Hopefully next brunch, we’ll see more of you’s.  Garrett and Charles & Cynthia were especially missed.  Talk to you all later.

Joe

p.s.  Of course, if any other crix-ers in NYC are so motivated to stage any other social events, go for it!  A few of us have, unofficially, formed a bowling team in the gay bowling league.  Who knows...

Monday, September 22, we were hoping to pick up our new computer, but it was not to be, so we took it easy, watching Melrose and Cybill and having a late night dinner at La Casalinga.

Tuesday, September 23, we finally get the new computer!  The full boat, 128 megs of RAM, a 6.4 gig hard drive, 8 megs of video RAM, a Pentium II 233 brain, and an ISDN modem for when the line gets installed around October 1.  But Bryan also has to go bowling so we only have a bit of time to play with it.  As I have a slight cold, I stay and clean the apartment until he gets back and we go for late night food.

Wednesday, September 24, it’s load the programs night (while catching the season premier of Third Rock from the Sun).

Thursday, September 25, we spend apart as I have choir practice.

Friday, September 26 ... the original goal was to go up north to see the foliage change, but because of computer exhaustion (the one at work has been going crazy all week) we’re going to hide in the city and go to see the leaves in a couple of weeks.

Saturday, September 27, the day from computer hell.  Four computers, four computer problems.  First, I manage to screw up the video monitor settings on the new one in NYC.  Then we go to the shop to try to correct some Word programming.  Then to my home in Cranford where the old computer is going to live.  It seems to work perfectly and then suddenly shuts itself down and restarts.  Hmmm, I hit the power button and drag us out of there! Then to Mario and Mary Kay’s where, even after re-loading Windows, we realize that his cpu is, well, dead.

Time to give up and go to Bryan’s boss’s house in Metuchen.  Michelle Petersen and her husband have acquired a new beagle.  You may have heard about the 40 beagles that were at a laboratory that was going to break their legs to try a new medicine until public uproar was too much.  So she and Larry managed to get one.  It’s very very shy but very very cute and we feel that she will eventually come around as she loves being petted (particularly by Bryan – the man’s a regular St. Francis of Assisi!).

We get back into NYC just fifteen minutes too late to meet up with Uncle Ralph, with whom we were to have had dinner, so we go for comfort food (Italian, natch) at the Cloisters Café.  Then off for drinks at the Barracuda with Bryan’s friend Ameen who is in need of food (he got an advance start on drinking) so it’s late night dinner at Man Ray in Chelsea.  Hey, what’s wrong with two dinners?

September 28, Sunday morning, I went to service at St. Luke’s in the Fields on Seventh Avenue in the West Village.  I had previously arranged to meet up with Frank Tedeschi (of Church Publishing) so I sat with him.  He’s got a beautiful tenor voice!  I knew he was a master of rubrics, but it certainly was a pleasure to hear him sing.  The mass was entirely sung (even the gospel) and as most of the service music was not usual for me, my vocal chords got a workout!  Also present were Ted Smith with his sister who was in town for the weekend.  In his new job for Lotus, he’s working near Rochester for four to six weeks so we’re not seeing much of him as he’s spending most of his weekends with his boyfriend, David (the museum director in Terre Haute), either in Indiana or upstate New York.

After the service, I went over to St. Xavier, the Roman Catholic church on 16th Street, to pick up Bryan.  He has been wanting to attend a church of his own faith for awhile, and St. Xavier is known for its outreach to gay and positive peoples.  The church itself is gorgeous, a huge old Gothic masterpiece!  He has found some interesting programs there so he may have found himself a church.  Certainly, I would prefer to attend church with him, but …

After brunch with Greg, a friend of his, we go to pick up his new bowling ball – a purple psychedelic beauty.  Then, after playing with the new computer, we go off to K-Mart (what a great place they have in the East Village!) and dinner at Buena Sera (great Tuscan food) and back home to catch up on TV tapings.  The season premier of Seinfeld was rather off, but the new Kirstie Alley show, Veronica’s Closet, looks to be a real winner.   Try to check it out.

Monday, September 29, we were to attend a reading of Jacqueline Susann’s “Valley of the Dolls” done by drag queens with Joe Fiore and his friend David Feight.  But timing was not with us, so we eat at Pangea and go shopping at Tower Records (new Kronos Quartet – great stuff, Iggy Pop tribute album – definitely worth a look if you like Jimmy Osterberg, second Duran Duran album for Bryan, and “The Songs of Solomon” by Solomone Rossi, Hebrew songs written during the Italian Renaissance - it's for a friend of Bryan's).

Tuesday, September 30 continues Bryan’s bowling league (followed by dinner again at Pangea).

Wednesday, October 1 is Hell Day.  I stay in NYC in order to await the installation of our ISDN line.  As usual for the phone company, the man doesn’t arrive until almost 3 pm and he knows nothing about ISDN!  He’s merely there to install wiring, but he didn’t have to come as it was a conversion over existing wire!  Needless to say, I’m a bit perturbed as the phone has been off since 9 am and once I hook the phone into the computer (as you have to with ISDN) there’s nothing!  Obviously, the modem hasn’t been installed  correctly and as of Friday afternoon we still have no phone service!  It sucks to be the pioneers!  So by 5 pm, Bryan (who has arrived home due to my panicky cell phone call) and I give up and just relax for the evening.  Thursday is choir night for me; Bryan attends a group for “recovering Catholics” at St. Xavier.

The weekend of October 3-5:  After work, Bryan and I decide we need new haircuts but as we pass the movie theater on the corner we see tons of people.  As we approach, limousines pull up and out pop the cast of the new movie, “A Life Less Ordinary” for its premier.  Joining Cameron Diaz is her current squeeze, Matt Dillon, followed by Ewan McGregor (from “Trainspotting”), and Holly Hunter!  Paparazzi are flashing and girls are screaming (or was that us?).  Rather Hollywood, especially for this area!

Bill and Alice Abbate are down for the weekend for the wedding of their friend Michel Vega (cool name, huh?) but we don’t have a chance to see them as we’re leaving for this year’s St. Barnabbas HIV retreat on Saturday morning and they’re in rehearsal on Friday night.

But as a surprise, Jeff Marshall & Alli Wong are down for the weekend as Jeff has some mastering to do on a new record.  So we take them to dinner at John’s Restaurant down the street from us.  It’s an old East Village institution, predating the hippies even, and we have a nice time with them, going to Veneriero’s (open since 1894) for pastry afterward.

Saturday and Sunday, we attend the retreat on the beach in Bayhead, New Jersey,  foregoing my Vestry retreat which unfortunately is scheduled for the same weekend.  Although I feel somewhat guilty, I feel that this will be more important, and besides, Bryan is able to join me for this.

You may remember that I attended this last year.  It’s at the million dollar home of Roger and Raemali King (of King World Syndicate), the distributors of Oprah, Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy among other shows.  Although they’re not there, they leave their housekeeper – and the Rolodex with everyone’s phones numbers!  As luck has it, it’s also one of the best weekends, weather-wise, that one could hope for.  Indeed, on Sunday the temperature is in the 80’s and people are on the beach and swimming!  Surprisingly, only a few people come down for the weekend but that’s fine with us, especially since Bryan really doesn’t know most of the group.

Lynn & Eileen, the nurses who run our group, David Mariani (an old friend who’s been with the group since the beginning), Gary Chefetz (hi, Gary!), Reggie, and Kathy (who leaves early on the first day because her daughter was in a minor car accident), me and Bryan are the only ones rattling around this huge house.  We have some great workshops on laughter and on Sunday morning do Tai Chi on the beach.  We leave sometime late on Sunday afternoon for the long drive home.

We’re quite exhausted by the time we get into NYC, but we still have the energy to go out to the West Village and dinner at Candy Bar, the newest hot spot.

Monday night, October 6 is the only St. Barnabbas HIV meeting of this month (due to scheduling and holidays) and it’s also quite small.  Nonetheless, we have a stimulating conversation so it’s well worth going.

Tuesday, October 7, of course, is bowling night for Bryan.  Although it’s just supposed to be for fun, I find that he and his team members take the competition quite seriously and when they don’t do well they’re somewhat depressed.  So of course my solution is to take Bryan to Buona Sera for Italian food after!  I love the restaurant (plus it’s right next door to the bowling alley) but they’re quite homophobic.  In addition, somewhat xenophobic.  While there, one of the waiters starts carrying on about how there’s no one better than Neapolitans!   Not to be prejudiced (especially since my ancestors are from there) but as a whole they’re barely better than common thieves!

Wednesday, October 8, when checking my messages, I found out that my friend, Father Gary Erb (he hates to be called Father, but too bad ?), had a heart attack on Tuesday and is at Mercy Hospital in San Diego.  Although in “critical” he is stable and scheduled for an angioplasty on Thursday.  As of the time of this report (October 27), he has been back into the hospital (even receiving last rites) but was released on the 22nd so I hope he does well.  [And when revisited on July 3, 1999, he was still alive and rector at San Clemente, but finally passes away a few years later.]

Thursday, October 9, of course, is choir practice.

Friday, October 10, we discover a great restaurant called Life Café on Avenue B near 11th Street.  The food is basically Mexican, but with lots of eclectic other dishes (like a wonderful flash-fried calamari with a chipotle mayonaisse).  The people who run the restaurant are obviously vegetarians as they make every effort to have tofu and soy substitutes for everything, but there’s also plenty of meat dishes on the menu.  Suffice it to say, everything is amazingly fresh and well-prepared.  A great find!

Saturday, October 11 is “go to New Jersey and run around like a maniac” day as we go to IKEA, the shop (to try to download a driver for the still not working ISDN modem) and more.  We get back to NYC around 4 pm, rest, and then have dinner at Mangia Mangia on Lexington and 88th where the attitude far exceeded the eating experience!  Thence to David Feight’s incredible apartment on the 37th floor over-looking Central Park.  We’re joining him and Joe Fiore for four hours of Scrabble.  David takes both games by storm (although I do place second both times).  Remember, it’s not just the letters, it’s what you do with the points!

Sunday, October 12 ... Of course I’m exhausted the next morning but I still get up for church in Cranford.  Craig+ is out of town so joining us is Rev. Sam Ruteikara from Uganda.  He has great experiences to tell, but especially about AIDS in his country.  His brother (Sam is tenth of 13 children) has lost all nine of his children to the virus!  Sort of humbles one.

Upon returning to NYC, Bryan and I join up with Dave and Joe again to check out a “leather” street fair at the Lure.  Turns out to be an excuse for people to sell their old tee-shirts and crap!  We have a nice brunch at Florent before going up to 66th Street to catch the new movie “Boogie Nights” with Mark Wahlberg.  It’s about the porno industry in the late 70’s/early 80’s and is supposedly based on the life of John Holmes.  Burt Reynolds is surprisingly good as the fatherly porno director as is most of the rest of the cast.  Nonetheless, at 2 ½ hours, it’s much too long with much too much gratuitous violence.  I would have willingly left the film by the halfway point as the plot is completely unbelievable.  Admitting that both Joe and Bryan found much to recommend the film, I have to give it a rating of 1 out of 10 (balancing out Burt and Mark’s acting is the massive headache it gives me).

Back home, Bryan and I have dinner at Pangea where we are apparently becoming regulars!  I start off with a drink based on the Brazilian sugar cane liquor (a caipirainha).

The only news on Monday, October 13 is my numbers from my blood work.  T-cells have stayed steady at around 100, viral load still undetectable and, as a side benefit, my cholesterol is 147 (the low end of normal).  Many people have experienced a jump in their numbers as a result of protease inhibitors so I’m very lucky.

Obviously, Tuesday, October 14 is much more low key.  I stay in Cranford for dinner as church artist Frank Loyacano is joining us; then I drive into NYC to eventually join Bryan at bowling (he did well, even winning the 50/50!) and then to late snacks at Orson’s (probably the last time, it’s really going downhill for a “hip” place) and drinks at Dick’s.

During the day, Bryan phones me with good news about his boss, Michelle Petersen.  They’ve been doing so much and such incredible work that her boss calls her and gives her an unexpected promotion!  Oh, well, I guess that just means more work for her and Bryan ?

Wednesday, October 15, we meet up with Scott “Dangerboy” Reich and his new girlfriend, Susan, for dinner and drinks.  We start off with Life Café, since we’d enjoyed it so much the other week, and then went to Meow Mix, normally a lesbian bar but trying something new and campy (and not succeeding, artistically or attendance-wise).  We then grabbed drinks at the rockabilly bar she works at before heading home.

Thursday, October 16, choir practice.

Friday, October 17, Bryan and I met up with Ted Smith for dinner at El Cantinero, the Mexican restaurant on University Place (quite good fajitas, BTW).  He brought along his friend Jim Shewalter(very funny, very sarcastic) and two friends from St. Luke’s.  After dinner, Ted and Jim joined us for drinks at Steak Frites in Union Square and then it was bed for everyone by midnight.

Saturday, October 18, Bryan and I went shopping!  We started at Old Navy (one step down from the Gap, their owners, but very cool) for lots of fun clothes, then to Bed, Bath & Beyond for tons of household items and then Century 21.

No, not the realtors, but an incredible clothing (and more) store near the World Trade Center.  Everything from the finest suits to socks and accessories (both clothing and household) at incredibly low prices.  The place was a total zoo but what a selection!  Suffice it to say, more than $700 left our coffers before we were done.

Then it was off to the Brooklyn Academy of Music (BAM) to see the Merce Cunningham Dance Company.  Divided into three parts, the first and last were new (one was a world premier) and the middle a collage of works from the fifties and sixties.  To be honest, Bryan understood it more than me, but it definitely was a great experience; Merce himself, now 80 and the “widow” of John Cage (whose music was prominent), came out to a standing ovation at the end of the show.  One of the musicians was Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth.

Sunday, October 19 was Celebration Sunday at Trinity Church in Cranford.  125 years old.  We start with a Morning Prayer in the style of the 1869 Prayer Book.  Rather fun being able to call Craig+ “Mr. Wylie” (as he would have been addressed in the Protestant style of the period).

For the Festal Eucharist at 4 PM (celebrated by our bishop, +Joe Morris Doss, whom I adore) we [the choir] pulled out all the stops, including wearing the new vestments (purple cassocks with cottas) donated by my mom for the first time.  At both services the choir sang gloriously!

Monday, October 20, Bryan and I had a simple dinner at Pangea where we are now regulars and then drinks at Dick’s with Bryan’s friend Greg.

Tuesday, October 21, I had a concert committee meeting at church while Bryan had his bowling night (which turned out to be long and frustrating, necessitating drinks and dinner at Pangea again).

Wednesday, October 22, I had a vestry meeting at church, joining Bryan late for a home-cooked meal of Hamburger Helper (laugh all you want, Bryan made it quite tasty!).

Thursday, October 23, normally I have choir practice but since I would be in Boston for the upcoming weekend and then LA the following, I took the night off to be with Bryan.

We were supposed to meet up with the ex-Ugandan imperialist Ameen (OK, he was only 10 at the time his family fled for Canada but still!)  at Barracuda in Chelsea.  Unfortunately, either we were too late (we were) or he didn’t show but we decided to make a Ketel One night of it with two-for-one drinks there, more at Champs (an underwhelming Latin night), dinner at, where else, Pangea, and drinks at Dick’s Bar.

Friday, October 24, we had planned to see a movie but things got screwed up so it was a late dinner at, would you believe, Pangea and an early bed as we had planned to drive to Boston on Saturday for Alli Wong’s birthday party (she’s Jeff Marshall’s girlfriend).

Saturday, October 25,awakening to rainy weather, we changed plans and made quick reservations on the Amtrak.  So after some quick shopping (new Doc Marten’s for Bryan, Old Navy for clothes, and Kiehl’s – amazing cosmetics – for Alli’s birthday present), we hopped on the train and had a relaxing trip North, arriving at the party right at 8 PM.

And this was one of Jeff’s best:  Bill and Alice Abbate, Brother Cleve with his wife the Lady Diana, Ellen, Shari Sklar (who showed off her new videos for Jeff’s bands), Dave Wentling (Everly Brothers tour manager), and more.

Perfect food, drink, company.  We crashed around 2 AM (in their spare room).

Sunday, October 26, after brunch we were back on the train at 2 and back in the apartment by 8 and then to La Casalinga for pasta.  Yes, we’re exhausted but not as much as if I had driven!

Monday, October 27 begins the week quietly as

Tuesday, October 28 is Bryan's bowling night and

Wednesday, October 29 we pack to go to

Los Angeles on Thursday, October 30 through Monday, November 3 so that will wrap up this diary for October!

[ Diaries originally existed in a monthly format explaining daily discrepancies.]

Well, one would have thought that the week preceding out trip to Los Angeles would be quiet, but no way.

Monday, October 27, Bryan went to an awards dinner (for the Anti-Violence Project) with his friend Greg.  Of course, he looked beautiful as always, wearing his new Tommy Hilfiger suit.  (While he was enjoying rubber chicken, I was domestic and did the laundry.)

Tuesday, October 28 was Bryan’s bowling night (he’s getting better and better) followed by dinner at Pangea.

Wednesday, October 29 was another one of those computer “days of hell.”  I installed Internet Explorer 4.0 and the new MSN 2.5.  This has been a total nightmare.  Nothing works quite right, it’s wormed its way into every part of my computer, and of course I understand none of it.

Needless to say, by the time I pick up Bryan I’m ready for a drink.  So after dinner at cafe cento sette (and three vodkas) we went back to the apartment to pack (and watch a good episode of Star Trek: Voyager).

Thursday, October 30, we get to the airport with time to spare.  Jim Lenney’s friend Carl Goldenberg has arranged an upgrade to first class on our round-trip tickets on Continental.  Neither Bryan or I have ever flown first class and have quite the time of it.  Can’t say the food was that superior, but the service is wonderful.

The movie was the Jack Lemmon/Walter Matthau cruise-ship comedy (whose name I forget).  Bryan sleeps during it but I found it funnier and better written than I expected!

We arrive at LAX at around 7 pm and immediately my cell phone rings.  I thought it’d be David calling to check on us but it turns out to be my friend John Ross.  I knew him in NJ but he now lives in Baltimore.  He had read my e-mail about my horrible MSN experience and was calling to help!

Our first stop is a Chrysler Sebring convertible at National (we’re in LA after all!), pick up a bottle of Ketel One for us and a single malt scotch for David and then drop off our bags at David’s.  Did I mention that we'd be staying at my friend David Littler's (who, second only to the great and powerful Dana Wharton, is my oldest regular friend in the world)?

We head down to Chin-Chin, the Chinese place on Sunset.  It used to be a favorite of Bryan’s when he lived there so he orders his regular chicken salad while I have a superb tangerine beef.  Right nearby is a putrid green circular building; it turns out to be the studios of Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo! And then it’s to bed as we’re exhausted!

Friday morning, October 31 ... we go shopping at Pavilions for veggies to go with the Harris Ranch pot roast which David is preparing for dinner.

Then it’s lunch at the cruisy French Market after Bloody Marys at the Gold Coast. We do some shopping at the Beverly Center (Bryan needs pants) and then to Santa Monica where Bryan finds The Vans Store (a/k/a sneaker nirvana) and thence to Ye Old Kings Head for our traditional British beers (Murphys for Tony, Woodpecker Cider for Bryan and Newcastle Brown Ale for David).

We get back to apartment around 5 pm and watch a 1987 Fire Island video featuring David, John Hood, Chester the dog, Uncle Ralph, Ted Smith, Dan Ade, Frank Tedeschi, Jim Helms and the late Duchess Richard Steele (plus Howard Dick and Miguel Rodriguez). It’s really something seeing all those faces again!  And for those of you just mentioned, y’all still lookin’ good!

After a nap and David's fine pot roast and superb wines, Bryan and I go off to the West Hollywood Halloween extravaganza (and then drinks at Gold Coast and Rafters) before taking the taxi home and bed around midnight.

Saturday, November 1,  it's the trip south to Orange County. The three of us leave around 10 am and go to the San Juan Capistrano Mission.  There, Bryan finds Hispanic boys (setting up a trampoline for one of the mission's events) to be more worthy of photographing then the mission itself.

Then to visit with Father Gary Erb who has just suffered two heart attacks (and survived last rites by Ray Fleming+ and Bishop Anderson). He's lost 35 pounds the hard way, but he had them to lose!

Then a drive up the Coast Highway to Dana Point and Mexican food at Olemandi's (a favorite of Richard Nixon's) and then across the street to lay on the beach at Doheny State Park.

Before returning to LA, we had drinks and gossip at the Boom Boom Room in Laguna Beach (which I managed in 1993) and a visit with Jean Kaye, the master of ceremonies at St. Mary's.   She was my regular drinking partner when I lived there (she’s about 60 now) and lots of fun.

Back in Los Angeles, we refresh and then meet John deCarlo at Bienvenuto, where John is a regular and I have eaten many times. Interestingly, Bryan doesn't realize until halfway through dinner that John is the man I’d dated in the past (talk about assuming!).

We see John's new apartment when we drop him off (he’s got lots of very interesting furniture, I believe from the 30’s and 40’s) and then to bed.

Sunday, November 2, we go to the patronal day mass at All Saints Church in Beverly Hills where David is a member.  Carol Anderson preached, Anne Tumilty celebrated (beautiful voice) and Craig Phillip's postlude is Eugene Gigout's Grand Choeur Dialogue.

We saw Louise Brooks there and decide that we really must make another trip out there soon as she is currently working on the Paramount lot and Bryan and I desperately would like to see the Star Trek sets!  (Just kidding.)

We also see Ron Collier and Randy Kimmler. David has to attend a LEM meeting so Bryan and I go shopping on Melrose Avenue.  We have lunch at Tavola Calda (so so), drinks at the Spike, video buying at Pleasure Chest, and compact discs at Prime Cuts (Erasure, Amber, Olive, collections).

We then drive around to look for Bryan's old friend "Larissa" and his old home on Vista while David attended a music performance at his church.  After returning home (and a short nap), the three of us go to Tony Jewiss’s for dinner.  Tony is the chaplain to Bishop Fred Borsch of Los Angeles and a fascinating man.  Afterwards, we stop for a few drinks at Numbers, an old haunt of ours where respectable gentlemen meet younger men (and which for years has had incredible food).

Monday, November 3, get up go to airport (stopping for a quick hamburger at McDonald’s), travel back to Newark first-class again (and see "Men in Black" - not bad), get home, unpack, and go to sleep.  What a trip!

And here’s excerpts from David Littler’s diary on our LA trip:

1 November 1997:  Up to a very low marine layer. In fact, the tops of high buildings were more visible then the main body of the buildings. We left here right on 10:00 to drive down to Orange County.  It seemed to take us forever to get to San Juan Capistrano.  We looked around the Mission.  I remembered I hadn't been then since Larry and Butch took me in 1984?

From there, we drove to San Clemente to see Gary Erb+. He certainly has had a rough time of it having had two heart attacks but, I think he looks fairly well.   It was nice to see him.

It was a bit(!) passed lunch time when we said goodbye to him and drove up PCH to Capistrano Beach (it seems to be sandwiched in between San Clemente and Dana Point). There we had lunch at Olemandi's Mexican restaurant which was a favorite of Richard Nixon's. They have LOTS of pictures on the walls of the Nixons and various other VIPs. And, if what we had was any indication, they have very good food! In fact, I think it probably was one of the best Mexican meals I have ever had. And, yes, I ordered something from the menu without having any idea of what it was! That's fun once in a while.

After lunch, we walked across the PCH and lay out in the sun at Doheny State Beach for a while. That was most pleasant.  Then up to Jean Kaye's place in Laguna. We had drinks and much good conversation with her as usual. Wish I could see her more often. She was NOT amused at Tony because we were almost three hours late getting there. Since he had his cel phone with him, I told him to call her but he didn't. However, I got the impression he was forgiven.

We left there around 7:00 and since Tony drove, we made it home in an hour. They had a very brief nap and I sat down and relaxed with a drink because it was way too late for me to have a nap.

John DeCarlo was waiting for us at Bienvenuto at 9:00. Had a good meal as always even if I was beginning to nod off. Since he had walked up, we drove him home (he now lives just off Melrose behind Fred Segal). Went in to see his place. His roommate has two computers and designs Web pages. Would like to see him in action sometime.  Came home and I fell directly into bed. A long and most pleasant day.

2 November 1997 All Saint's Day observed:  Of course, having not gotten up until after 7:00, I did not go to the gym but, I finished the paper and got a good start on the puzzle. Ron called to remind me that both he and I really were meant to attend the LEM meeting after the 11:15 service and that we couldn't go to brunch until afterwards. I knew that Tony and Bryan wanted to go shopping/window shopping on Melrose after church, so we scratched brunch plans.

On a scale of one to ten, the 11:15 service was at least a nine!! It made me very happy. We sang, in festival procession, all the verses of "Hail Thee Festival Day" and for the postlude, Craig played Gigout's "Grand Choeur Dialogue" using the new trumpet stop. It was quite grand!!!

I had to be back for the "Angles of God" service at 5:00, so came home, had a bite to eat, and then a minor nap.

"The Angles of God" turned out to be the latest (I think) version of Lessons and Carols from King's College. It was all about angles so, hence doing it on All Saints' Day. I rather liked it, but sort of missed having Festival Evensong.

Came home and had time for another brief "sit down with drink" before the three of us went to Tony's+ for dinner. Had a most pleasant evening as always. He did say that he and I are probably not going to be able to go to SF this weekend as +Fred has to entertain THE Orthodox Patriarch who will be in town then.

When we left there, it was decided to go to Numbers for ONE drink. We had one and a half before Tony thought we should come right on home which we did. I don't know what time it was, but I went right to bed!!

3 November 1997:  Up at 8:00 not feeling all that well. Yet again, I had to turn on the a/c. This heat wave is the pits!!  They left here about 10:15. Had a bit of the "hair of the dog" and then finished off the pizza Bryan didn't eat at Bienvenuto the other night. Then had a major nap.

Thank you, David.

Tuesday, November 4, one would think we’d have been tired enough from our trip, but after Bryan had finished bowling, he and I had dinner at Pangea.

Wednesday, November 5, this evening's episode of Star Trek: Voyager is in a two-parter entitled “The Year of Hell.”  I know what they mean.  My computer decided to go crazy.  I had installed the new Internet Explorer 4.0 and MSN 2.5 and then tried to uninstall it.  Well, it took part of the internal files with it!  So I spent most of the rest of the week having a tech guy try to put everything back together (and not very well).

That night, Bryan had dinner with a friend of his, so I enjoyed a restful dinner at Lavo, the local Thai restaurant, and then watched some tube until Bryan came home and we finally got a good night’s rest.

[Editor's Note:  Believe it or not, these files were found in some musty back corner of my hard drive in April of 1999; I've been starting to sort through almost a year's worth of old messages from MSN saved in Outlook ever since.]

Thursday, November 6 was choir practice for me.

Friday, November 7, Bryan and I joined Ted Smith and his friend Jim Shewalter to catch a restored print of “My Girl Friday” with Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell at the Museum of Modern Art, which was preceded by an introduction by Peter Bogdanovich (looking very 70’s in his ascot and tinted glasses).  Amazing how funny that movie still is after all these years.

After the movie, we walked over to Arriba! Arriba! on 9th Avenue and 51st Street for Mexican food.  Although the clientele was sort of straight, the wait staff was very interesting and wound up discussing show tunes with us.

On Saturday, November 8, we were supposed to attend a reception at the Whitney Museum for an Andy Warhol fashion exhibit but decided to continue the lazy day we started with.    We had dinner at Pangea after watching “The Pretender” (part of NBC’s Saturday night “Thrillogy”) and setting the VCR for “The Profiler.”  I know we’re the only two people who watch these shows, but they’ve become our personal cult favorites.

Sunday, November 9,  Bryan prepared an incredible stew for dinner and while it was cooking we went to the West Village.

Monday, November 10, after work, the computer tech that fixes my work computers came to NYC to attempt to get our ISDN line working.  But after a couple of hours, he had to give up and make a return appointment.  So Bryan and I went out for dinner, taking his ex, Philip, along for Philip’s birthday.

We had a great dinner at Flamingo East, around the corner from us where Brother Cleve has spun his lounge music.  We gave Philip a t-shirt from the Boom Boom Room in Laguna Beach because he had grown up near there.

Tuesday, November 11, Veteran’s Day … both of us had the day off (OK, I called in sick) and we went to the American Museum of Natural History where they were having a special exhibit on diamonds.  I, of course, was more interested in the finished product than how they’re made.

The highlights, for me, were the diamond ring Richard Burton gave to Liz Taylor and the tiara that Princess Grace wore to the wedding of Princess Caroline.  Just beautiful.

We then went down to Chelsea and had dinner at a new pasta place, Cola’s, on 8th Avenue near 17th Street.  We then met Bryan’s friend Ameen (you remember, the ex-imperialist from Kenya – I was wrong about Uganda) at 6 PM at the Break.  Well, they were having martini specials and the three of us had way too many of them for the next four hours, playing pool with two people who run a hemp fashion company (that’s right, the marijuana plant).  The material actually wears quite well, I’ve seen pants that feel like silk.  Ask Woody Harrelson about it!

Wednesday, November 12:  ISDN!  Bryan had finally had it with no phone service and demanded that our tech guy come and finish the phone installation.  So he took the morning off (and most of the afternoon, it turned out) but by 3 pm he and the tech had ISDN phone service!  And boy is it fast!  So now we also have two phone numbers, although they both ring on the same line.  Nonetheless, I’ve taken the second number as my own, as it ends in double digits.  So now you can call me there!

[Editor's Note:  Read further into the future to find out how the boys ripped the ISDN phone service out.]

Since he had to into work, Bryan didn’t get home until late so we went to Pangea for dinner and came home to watch part 2 of Star Trek: Voyager’s “Year of Hell.”  Unfortunately, we had to miss a visit by Jeff Marshall and Alli Wong who were down for the evening to meet with their band, the Royal Crowns.  By the time they went to dinner, it was almost 11 PM and there was no way I could stay awake!

Thursday, November 13:  time to consolidate debt.  I sold off about half of my bank stock (which has running rather high lately) and paid off all of my credit cards.  The interest on the them had been making a severe dent in our available cash so it was time to bite the bullet.  I’d only been servicing not much more than the interest recently, so it’s good to feel solvent again.  Now I will leave it up to Bryan to keep me on track!  He’s rather good about not using credit cards so I feel safe.  Back to normal, it’s choir practice for me and rest for Bryan.

Friday, November 14:  winter is arriving and Bryan and I decide it’s a perfect night to hide inside and order in from La Casalinga.  Laying in bed (or is that lying?), we opt for pay-per-view.  The choice is "The Saint" with Val Kilmer which looks terrible, Woody Allen’s “Everyone Says I Love You” (or something like that) which promises bad singing from Alan Alda and more, and Henry Jaglom’s “Last Summer in the Hamptons” which stars Viveca Lindfors and Victoria Foyt (who also co-writes with Jaglom).  The “Hamptons” wins but we’re not sure why as it makes Woody Allen look NOT self-centered!  Totally self-absorbed theater people.  Well, maybe if you like that sort of thing.

Saturday, November 15 is lazy, getting up at noon for lunch at our regular diner, shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond, Old Navy (for more outfits for Bryan’s new nephew Little Bryan and niece Angel) and Filene’s Basement where I find a great long black wool coat for only $169.  Then a walk to Venus Body Art in the East Village.  Yes, Bryan and I are going for a little body jewelry.  Ask about it if you dare!

After a quick nap, we bop over to G, a new gay lounge for drinks with our friend Joe Fiore, whose  birthday we’re celebrating.  Then we all (Joe, his boyfriend David Feight, fellow bowlers Paul – of whom we find out about an interesting tattoo - and Gerard, George, Steven, Ted and Michael – most of whom are former dj’s and Michael even knew about Spit!) go over to Alley’s End on 17th Street near 8th Avenue.  What a great restaurant!

And on top of that, David Schwimmer of “Friends” is eating there with a woman friend, whom we see pawing in all the wrong places – plus he’s pudgier than on tv.  So there’s your gossip for this page!

Sunday, November 16, we go to midtown to pick up some further instructions on how to set up our ibm.net and netscape service and have a relaxing lunch at Da Rosina on 46th Street near 8th Avenue (chicken parm, great clams and grilled veggies) and then back home to finalize our e-mail.

Everything works and now I can do my mail at the NYC apartment!  After a short nap, we have a late supper at Pangea.

Monday, November 17, I go to see my opthamologist, dr. eric kanter - one of the first to perform the new corneal implants for hiv - in my eternal vigilance to avoid CMV retinitis (I have no traces of it, but it’s something the immune-impaired must watch out for) and my St. Barnabbas hiv meeting.

I got into NYC around 10 PM and Bryan and I go out for dinner at Pangea (my system is calling for their spaghetti bolognese).

Tuesday, November 18, Bryan’s bowling game isn’t quite up to snuff.  I arrive at Bowlmor late as I have a concert committee meeting with Jim Lenney at the church.  On the way in, I see some amazing fireworks over the Statue of Liberty.  Is the 18th a holiday I’m unaware of?

Interestingly, before I go to the committee meeting, my father asks me if I’m ever going to live at home anymore.  Mr. Denial says that he can’t understand why I’d want to pay money to live in NYC.  Of course, I can’t help myself and say, “Not to be blunt, but I love Bryan more than you.”  How nice of me.  Mom keeps changing the subject and Dad never gets around to understanding the whole point.  Oh, well.

Wednesday, November 19, is vestry night (after visits to the dentist – still no cavities, ma – and the dermatologist).  The meeting itself isn’t very unusual except that at the end we spend about a half hour discussing a recent meeting that some members of the congregation attended with the bishop of New Jersey, Joe Morris Doss, who has been embroiled in controversy with a group of clergy trying to depose him.  My take on it is that these miserable conservatives can’t stand a liberal agenda.  And they hide under a cover of biblical interpretation that, as far as I’m concerned, has nothing to do with the central message of Jesus – “love thy neighbor.”  In my opinion, like most dead plants, they’ll eventually rot away.

Thursday, November 20, I decided to listen to Gustav Holst’s “The Planets.”  I know, you’re saying “what a cliché!”  But this is the 1971 version with Leonard Bernstein and the NY Philharmonic.  And what I’ve been re-discovering lately is the Lenny’s style is clean, clean, clean.  Lean but not spare, muscular but not bulky, grand without being grandiose.  Although the man himself may have been a bit florid, his conducting certainly isn’t.  Rediscover Bernstein again for yourself!  Thursday night, choir practice and drinks at Jim and Jamie’s.

Friday, November 21, another computer day from hell as I try to fix Microsoft Outlook.  Of course, I manage to delete half the program before deciding to do an uninstall/re-install (and yes, I was smart enough to have backed up the information before doing it).  It went fine, but it was certainly time consuming.

That evening, Bryan and I joined Ted Smith and his friend Jim Shewalter for another movie night.  This time it was Al Pacino (chewing scenery like nobody’s business) and Keanu Reeves (I’m the only one on the planet who thinks he can act) in “Devil’s Advocate.”  A little over the top for me, but good for trashy movie night.

After the movie, we went to Bandito’s in the Village for Mexican and lots of tequila.  Bryan and I got home around midnight.

Saturday, November 22, we took Bryan’s friend Bobby (who has slight dementia from AIDS and developing CMV retinitis) to lunch at Patsy’s (great pasta and pizza on University) and then to the blind library branch of the NY Library.  It’s amazing what they have for the blind.

Later, Bryan and I went to Pete’s Tavern (on Irving Place and made famous by O. Henry, or so it says on the door) for prime rib.

Sunday, November 23, into New Jersey in the late afternoon so that Bryan could install ibm.net on my work computer.  In the evening, we went to the meat packing district to have dinner at Florent.

Monday, November 24, a quick dinner at Pangea.

Tuesday, November 25, Bryan has bowling and I have a special night of choir practice in preparation for our Sunday night Advent Lessons and Carols.

Bryan is particularly tired though because of our ongoing travails with the ISDN line.  Now we’re getting the runaround regarding our services, like Caller ID, call waiting and voice messaging.  Bryan has spent an average of a couple of hours each day for the last few weeks trying to get all this straightened out.  My advice:  Do not under any circumstances get an ISDN line unless you’re an expert.  There is virtually no support for this and no one understands it.

Wednesday, November 26.  Thanksgiving Day will be a bit of a disappointment for me as my Aunt Annie has bronchitis so we won’t be going there to eat.  Which means I won’t be seeing my cousin Carol and her kids.  The only people at Mom’s will be my parents, Mario and his wife, me and Bryan and my great-aunt Jean.  But then on Wednesday night, Bryan and I stay up much too late.

Thanksgiving Day, Thursday November 27 and we just don’t feel up to slogging off to NJ through all the traffic.  So we beg off and spend most of the day in bed, finally getting up to out to Lanza’s Italian restaurant around 5 PM for Italian-style turkey and then back home, even giving up on going to our friends, Joe and David, who are having a late dinner party.

Friday, November 28, Bryan has to go to work for a few hours so I get more xmas shopping done and continue to try to sort out all the incompetent activities at BellAtlantic who have managed to screw up all our services.

Finally, the evening arrives and Bryan and I join Ted's friend Jim to go to Lincoln Center to catch a revival of Mae West in “I’m No Angel” with Cary Grant.  Obviously old but still funny.

We then go to Tribeca to Gloria's, a new branch of MaryAnn’s, for Mexican and margaritas.

Saturday, November 29, I make it into NJ at 10 AM for a special choir rehearsal for Sunday’s evensong.  It’s well worth it.  Back in NYC, Bryan has been busy cleaning and straightening the apartment and around 5 we go out to Holy Basil for superb Thai food after watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Sunday, November 30:  Advent Lessons and Carols commenced at 5 PM at Trinity Church in Cranford. Jim Lenney picked out wonderful music for us including a 15th Century “Adam Lay Ybounden,” an early 20th Century “Listen to the Lambs,” and more recently “Springs in the Desert” and a “Magnificat.”  I also read the Adam and Eve story from Genesis in full theatrical mode.

Bryan came along and sat with my mom and a woman friend of hers.  Then we went back to her house for the my Aunt Annie’s lasagna which we missed on Thanksgiving Day and then back to NYC where we promptly ended November!

Before we get into the new month, it has been called to my attention that I neglected the most important event of November: Bryan’s promotion!  Yes, he’s been made an officer of Republic National Bank (I believe the title is Assistant Treasurer) with a huge raise and attendant benefits.  He was already a permanent employee,  but this includes many additional perks.  Three cheers for Bryan!  Naturally, I’m extremely proud of him.

Christmas is soon upon us!  But I’ve already done most of my shopping, almost all of it for Bryan.  So far, I’ve gotten him an aluminum briefcase full of tools from Hammacher Schlemmer (oh, oh, I’ve got a reader now who works for their lab – I better get it spelled right), a Rex from Rolodex (a credit card size personal computer assistant), a Merce Cunningham coffee table book and one about artist Cindy Sherman plus some NYC related books, and a pair of tickets for us to go see The Lion King in early March.  This weekend we hope to buy our Christmas tree and start decorating.

Monday, December 1,World AIDS Day, Bryan and I have dinner at Pangea.

Tuesday, December 2, Bryan goes off to bowling and doesn’t get going until the third and final game.  A quick dinner at Pangea around 11.

Wednesday, December 3, shopping at K-Mart for our xmas decorations and a quick dinner at Bryan’s favorite haute-cuisine restaurant, McDonald’s.

Thursday, December 4, is choir practice for me after my brother and I take Mom to dinner at Theresa’s in Westfield.  After practice, I go to Jim and Jamie’s with Doug and Donna Reagan.  Donna has just gotten back from a trip to India where she and other nurses are comparing Eastern and Western techniques.  She has an amazing time and I’m sure it will take many months for everything she experienced to sink in.

Friday, December 5 … since my father is in Texas on a hunting trip, we decide to close the shop early and go to La Casalinga for pasta.  After another cocktail on the way back, we head off towards Christopher Street in the Village.  Our first stop (after a drink at The Hangar) is The Leatherman where Bryan gets a gorgeous pair of leather pants.

As we walk over to The Stonewall, we pass a sign advertising Randy Credico, a comic I remember from Boston, as well as other comics including a Dan Vitale.  Can I resist walking in?  Randy and I exchange a few pleasantries and then I meet Dan, whom I had confused with the singer of an old Boston band, Bim Skala Bim.  Not only isn’t he the same person, but he doesn’t seem all that interesting either.

So Bryan and I slide out the side door when no one notices!

Saturday, December 6, in the early afternoon we walk off to the West Village where we have a late lunch/early dinner at Graziella’s, where we had once had dinner with my parents.  The food is very good and very, very cheap.  With a bottle of Pinot Grigio, the bill is only $45!

Leaving there, we stop for a drink at Woody’s (where we first met at that infamous Crix brunch) and stop at a very cute kid’s store where Bryan buys a tiny Santa suit for his new nephew.  Adorable!  Stopping off at an ATM, my cell phone goes off and it’s “Uncle” Ralph Taylor who is in town preparing a gala dinner for his friends.  We go over to meet him and take him to Caffé Torino (which used to be the Ninth Circle many years ago).

The place is packed, and very gay.  The hostess is none other than the famous drag queen, Girlina.  She and Ralph take an immediate liking to each other and after dinner we wind up having drinks with her at the bar, paid for by her!

Sunday, December 7, we get up early and head to New Jersey so I can sing with the choir at Trinity.  I’ve missed being there!  We do a very nice excerpt from Handel’s Messiah which requires precise counting.  If one listens to the other parts, or counts incorrectly, one can get lost and confused very quickly.  Nonetheless, we do quite well.  And surprise, surprise, Bryan gets roped into taking up the gifts with my friend Lynn Kiamie!  He may become an Episcopalian yet!

After stopping off at home to see the folks, we go to Harrow’s for xmas decorations and then head back into the city where we buy a Christmas tree just two blocks from our house.  It’s a gorgeous, six foot tall pine.  Shortly afterward, Uncle Ralph comes by and we adjourn to Dick’s Bar for a cocktail before going to Pangea for dinner where Bryan’s ex, Phillp, joins us.

They’re having an art opening there and we all have a lot of fun talking with the artist and Arnoldo (the owner) and his boyfriend, Michael.  Back home at 9 pm, we give up the ghost early, blowing off the chance to go to Boy’s Life for a party hosted by, ta da, Girlina.  Oh, well, can’t hang out with famous drag queens forever!

Monday, December 8 … One of our few nights off and yet we were hardly home at all.  On our way to Bed, Bath and Beyond to pick up more xmas decorations, we ate at Mumbles on 3rd Avenue.  Although it seems fashioned after T.G.I. Friday’s, it had a surprisingly eclectic and tasty menu, particularly Bryan’s chicken breast with artichokes, sun-dried tomatoes and red curry.  I know, red curry, but it was done subtly and was quite delicious.

Tuesday, December 9, we had a quick dinner at Café Cento Sette (where Bryan had a superb chicken breast in mustard sauce) around the corner before Bryan went off bowling (he had a particularly good night).  After a late snack at Pangea we had an early (for us) bedtime.

Wednesday, December 10, we were both quite busy at work, but I still had time to stop for extra xmas presents on the way home (through our first almost snow of the year) at Mod World on First Avenue.  Keith, who works there, fashions his own Barbie and Ken dolls in rather outrageous variations (many of a science fiction nature).

Since Bryan loves all things Ken (and suggested that it would make a good xmas present), I bought him an almost naked Ken in black bondage (made of black electrical tape).  I also purchased a Ken in white bondage with tubes comings out of him and wild feathers and other things coming out of him.  But I won’t be able to get him until after xmas as he is part of their window display.  I was lucky to meet the artist (and perhaps store owner) so this might bode well for future purchases!

Then it was off to Avery Fisher Hall to see the Philip Glass Ensemble in “A 30 Year Retrospective Celebrating His 60th Birthday.”  OK, most people hate him but I love his music.  The program included:

Sand Mandala and Chinese Invade from the movie Kundun (1997)
Music in Twelve Parts, Parts 1 and 2 (1971-74)
Act III of The Photographer (1983)
Music in Similar Motion (1969)
Dance No. 9 from In the Upper Room (1986)
Building from Einstein on the Beach (1976)
Abdulmajid from Heroes (1996)
The Grid from Koyaanisqatsi (1982)

He encored with another selection from Einstein.  The first piece included the Drepung Loseling Monks in full Tibetan costume who were very warmly received by the audience.  They are the monks who are able to sing multiple notes at once, unique in all the world.  Naturally, Michael Riesman, his prime keyboardist and Music Director, was present.  Kurt Munkacsi continues as Sound Design.  I really loved the show and Bryan enjoyed most of it.

While there, we spotted Ted Smith’s friend, Jim, with whom we’ve been attending movies.  So afterward he joined us for a late dinner.  But the only place we found (a little after midnight) was the Dew Drop Inn in the Village (word to the wise, Do Not).

Thursday, December 11, a quiet day for both of us.

Friday, December 12, the Trinity Adult Choir went over to Calvary Lutheran Church in Cranfordto join them in a musical program.  We performed three pieces we had just done for our congregation, “Listen to the Lambs” (from 1914), “Adam Lay Ybounden” (15th Century) and “People Look East” (from 1984).  It was very enjoyable.

I had never been in the church, even though I had passed it many times growing up.  Their choir is very friendly and there was also the Children’s Choir of New York who were just lovely.  Mom was the only one able to make it as Bryan wasn’t feeling well and had stayed home all day.  After the concert, I went to Jim and Jamie’s for a few martinis and then drove into NYC where we promptly went to sleep around midnight.

Saturday, December 13, after a late morning breakfast, we went into the West Village to get Uncle Ralph a xmas present as he was back in town for the weekend.  While walking over, we noticed a very unusually decorated brownstone with a Santa sled driven by a big bunny aimed down the side of the building with various smaller Santas rapelling down from it as well as some leftover Halloween decorations.  It was David Byrne’s house (of Talking Heads)!  That was interesting!

And then a few minutes later we just missed seeing Mick Jagger on Christopher Street.  Oh, well.  Anyway, Ralph Taylor came over around 5 so he and Bryan could go wine shopping at Astor and then we went back to Caffé Torino where we had dinner last week, this time with Ted Smith joining us.  Girlina was hostess once again and we had a great time and great food.

Sunday, December 14, Ralph joined us for brunch at Pangea before he left for home.  He brought his friend Bill from Absecon along with him and Ted Smith showed up after church at St. Luke’s.

On the way back to the apartment (for slices of Mom’s apple pie) we stopped at a used furniture store to pick up a half-moon shaped Art Deco console for the hallway that Bryan found on Saturday.  The cost was $325 (bargained down from $350) but the piece is probably worth about $600 restored (not that it’s in bad condition).  It has an unusual front in that there’s a translucent panel fronted by copper pipes.  I replace the incandescent bulb with a fluorescent fixture which we gel with a blue appropriate to its lineage.

After everyone left, Bryan and I took a walk down to Lighting by Gregory in the Bowery, one of the great lighting stores anywhere … of course, a quick couple of hundred was dropped on various fixtures and bulbs.  They truly have every type of light available to the public.

On the way, we also stopped at Irreplaceable Artifacts on Second Avenue – “Architectural Ornaments Saved from Two Continents.”  You can’t believe the types of things you can find there (for instance, an incredible set of bronze Art Deco elevator doors).  Someday, someway.

After a brief rest, we were up again and off to Mexican food at MaryAnn’s (one of the best in Manhattan) and drinks (pre and post) at Dick’s Bar.  We also stopped at Dakota on 3rd Avenue near 29th Street which used to be the western-themed  South Dakota.  Now supposedly it’s industrial but as far as we could tell, all they did was remove the western stuff!  Even worse than before.

Monday, December 15, after a delicious meal at home (with goat cheese ravioli and a prosciutto/tomato sauce from Russo’s) we fall asleep before 10 PM!

Tuesday, December 16, I’m feeling fluish, but have a quick dinner with Bryan and his ex, Philip, at Cedar (a very straight bar/restaurant near the bowling alley).  I watch Bryan bowl for awhile before returning home.  He gets in around 11 and makes us soup after which I go right back to bed.

Wednesday, December 17, I spend most of the day working on Connections and then have dinner at the folks’ house (it’s their 48th anniversary) with Frank Loyacano (the church artist), and Mario and MaryKay.  Then it’s off to a vestry meeting (where I’m persuaded to run for Diocesan Convention).  Later, Bryan and I have a quick bite at Candy Bar in Chelsea and Florent on Gaansewoort Street.

Thursday, December 18, I have my regular choir practice that evening.

Friday, December 19, another day of work with a therapy session at the new La Griglia (formerly Ange and Min’s) in Kenilworth, NJ.  I haven’t seen Jamie in weeks and it’s great to get some things straightened out.  As for La Griglia, however, the food is interesting but the restaurant seems to be over-reaching.

Saturday, December 20, we do some last minute clothes shopping at Old Navy (khakis and new sweater for me) and a new pair of brown Doc Marten’s (low cut) before hopping on the Amtrak for Boston where we go to the infamous Jeff Marshall/Alli Wong Christmas party.

As usual, Jeff throws one of his great parties.  All of our friends are there:  Oedipus with his new girlfriend (who hits it off with Bryan), Brother Cleve and Lady Diane, Bill and Alice Abbate and more.  The food is superb, the fellowship phenomenal. Jeff’s parties are a mixture of personal friends and people he knows from the entertainment industry (sometimes one and the same) and it results in lots of mixed conversations.  It seems like it could be a recipe for disaster but never turns out that way.  Plus, he and Alli do all the work for the party, cooking and cleaning.  It’s simply amazing!

Sunday, December 21, after a quick brunch at the Tam, in Brookline, we train back to NYC and dinner at Dok Suni, the Korean restaurant in the East Village (superb) and a relatively early bed.

Monday, December 22 is a normal workday.

Tuesday, December 23, I do my final xmas shopping and then it’s into NYC for dinner with Vinny himself and his boyfriend Steven.  We wind up at Mimi’s on 2nd Avenue and 52nd Street which turns out to be a hysterical piano bar.

First, the Hungarian proprietess greets Vinny at the door, then we have a wild 71 year old Italian waitress who thinks she’s Sophia Loren.  To top it off, the piano player, Hunter Blue, is a big ole queen with an outfit by Omar the Tentmaker and blue, yes, blue hair.  Plus, a single man is at the table next to us.  Engaging us in conversation, we find out he just got divorced a few months ago and is coming out of the closet.  Asking Vinny what he does for a living, Vinny replies, “I own some real estate, rent some rooms, and run a sex club.”  Ah!  Well, to make a long story short, we have a great meal, much wine and espresso and then show off our tree to Vinny and Steve before crashing.

Wednesday, December 24, Christmas Eve: For me, the day involves two services at Trinity in Cranford in the choir.  Bryan has to work but arrives just after the 4 pm service.  I find Bryan’s last present at the last moment.  It’s the new Mavica digital still camera from Sony that uses a floppy disc to record images.  He hinted at it last weekend and I’ve been scrambling to find it ever since.  I give it to him after he arrives so he can play with it over the holiday.  Yeah!  It turns out to be his favorite! We have some food with Mom and Dad and then get ready for midnight mass.  Bryan picks up Jamie (Jim Lenney’s boyfriend) and after the mass we go back to their house for martinis.

Thursday, December 25, Christmas Day:  Mario and MaryKay arrive around 1 pm to open presents and then we gather around the table (with the addition of my father’s sister, Rose, an amazingly open Evangelical).  By 4, Bryan and I are off to his boss Michelle Petersen’s where we exchange more gifts.  She’s got all her Romanian relatives over and tons of food (she’s one of the world’s great cooks).

By 7, we’re ready to head home and our own present openings.  And do we have presents for each other!  Mine include a domain name (tvod.com), a photo of the Empire State Building (my favorite in the world) taken on Gay Pride Day 1997 by a photographer known for his photos of the building, a CD-ROM recorder, a gorgeous antique cobalt-blue crucifix (and a bunch of fun stuff).

From me, Bryan gets leather pants (actually he got them a couple of weeks ago), the digital camera, a Rolodex REX (a credit card size personal information organizer – another big hit), books on Merce Cunningham, Cindy Sherman and Gay New York (and lots of small items).  We also get a big box of novelty items and fine food-stuffs from “Uncle” Ralph Taylor.  By midnight, the cold that I’ve been battling finally overcomes me and it’s off to bed.

Friday, Boxing Day (as David Littler reminds me), December 26.  Most of the day, I spend in bed, taking time out for dinner at Pangea and then it’s off to the movies for “As Good As It Gets” with Jack Nicholson, Greg Kinnear and Helen Hunt.  We walk out after almost two hours when the gay character (played by Kinnear) starts leering at Helen Hunt’s naked breasts.  Bad gay bashing jokes (along with blacks and Jews and women and anyone else you can think of) made this the meanest “feel bad” movie of the year.

Saturday, December 27, we redeem ourselves by seeing “Titanic,” perhaps the leading contender for Best Picture Oscar.  James Cameron has certainly silenced his critics with a movie well worth every cent of the $200 million dollars spent to make one of the most moving films we’ve seen this year, or any year.

Leonardo DiCaprio continues to be the best actor of his generation along with fine performances by Claire Danes, Billy Zane (redeeming himself from Zorro) and Kathy Bates.  The addition of some of the most amazing special effects seen this decade just enables the film to achieve the amazing realism for which it strives.  After the movie, we have Thai food at Holy Basil and then off to bed.

Sunday, December 28 is shopping day; Bryan gets a new suit, two new over-coats, ties and even a pair of rubber-encased shoes from Kenneth Cole.  As we’re both still a little under the weather, we have a quick “ceremonial” drink at Dick’s and have a peaceful evening with a simple dinner at Buona Sera.  We had been concerned that they were homophobic from recent visits but the food was superb.  This time, they’ve changed the menu (for the worse) but were very friendly.  So who knows ?!?

Monday, December 29, it’s back to work for Bryan but I’m on a week’s vacation so I totally recuperate by lying in bed and then puttering around the house (except for meeting Bryan for lunch).  I then prepare him fresh agnoletti (spinach pasta stuffed with marscapone cheese and artichoke) with tomato sauce with prosciutto and onion.  OK, I bought it at Russo’s (in business since 1908) but it was delicious.  Since we’re enjoying a Nor’easter (mainly rain) we stay home.

We’re getting close to New Year’s Eve.

Tuesday, December 30 … I go into NJ to take Mom to the Rustic Mill Diner for lunch.  Pick up Bryan at 5 pm and go in search of a new sofa bed for the apartment.  Dinner is at Caffe Torino where we have had dinner with Uncle Ralph recently.  Joining us are Brian, whom Bryan has met through a GayPoz list, and his friend Sandy.  We’ve never met Brian yet it turns out to be a lot of fun.  He’s about 50 and fun-loving (he lists his career as drug-dealer and he may be) and Sandy is a very dyspeptic Jew (I wouldn’t mention it except that he does).  It’s a great dinner.

Wednesday, December 31, New Year’s Eve, Bryan has to work for most of the day.  I meet him in the West Village as he has to have his knee x-rayed (it’s been bothering him, to no surprise as it’s filled with metal) and we have a late lunch at Artepasta, somewhat trendy yet not bad.  Then drinks at Bandito’s, new Doc Marten’s (black oil, steel toe) for me, and back to the ranch for a nap.

Around 10 pm, we re-awaken and start off on our New Year’s Eve journey.  First stop, the Empire State Building.  Although it’s less than 20 degrees outside, there’s still plenty of people on the observation deck.  And the views are glorious, as there’s not a cloud in the sky.  Believe it or not, it’s my first time ever inside one of my favorite buildings.  We stay for about a half-hour and have a glass of champagne but, since we can’t see the ball from there, decide not to spend midnight there.

Instead, we cab it over to the Gay and Lesbian Center where our friends Joe Fiore (who introduced Bryan and I at the first Crix brunch) and David Feight are dancing.  Again, we’re there about a half-hour, just enough to bring in the new year with them, which is very lovely.  As for the Center itself, it boasts a men’s room decorated by none other than Keith Haring.  Bryan takes some pictures with his new digital camera as he sees a piece that could wind up as a tattoo along his spine.

Then it’s off to Pangea; we arrive just before the kitchen closes at 1 am, so we’re able to eat and drink there for about an hour.  We stop by Dick’s to wish everyone a Happy New Year, but don’t even have a drink and then it’s home by 2 am.

Thursday, January 1, New Year’s Day 1998.  Of course, it’s a late morning and after a quick diner lunch, Bryan’s boss Michelle Petersen and her husband Larry arrive for a visit.  Our first stop is Rockefeller Center to see the tree and go into St. Patrick’s Cathedral.  It’s freezing out!

So after not too long a time, we cab back into the East Village and Korean food at Dok Suni’s.  We’ve been telling Michelle about this place and now’s our chance to enjoy it with her.  Mouths ablaze, we leave there and find Veneiro’s (where we wanted pastry and coffee) to be closed on the one day of the year that it closes.

Our next stop, after Larry and Michelle leave, is to Bar D’O in the West Village.  Brother Cleve is there spinning lounge music with the Lady Diana in attendance.  We stay for one “aquapolitan” before coming home to end a beautiful 1997.

Glad you were there!